Let me say one positive thing before I tear into this album. The cover of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town is actually great. It has an old school soul sound that I can't help but love. With that out of the way, the rest of this album is mediocre at best. It's filled to the brim with boring acoustic ballads, and most of those acoustic ballads don't sound nearly as organic as they should because of a horribly synthetic snap beat. Other than Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, the only songs that deviate from this formula are All I Want for Christmas Is You, which sounds exactly like the original (what was the point of this exactly?) and Drummer Boy, which is the most atrocious thing Bieber had made up to this point. Imagine the chorus to Little Drummer Boy, but verses that are rapped, poorly at that.
Hello, I'm Laura Ingraham, and today, I'm going to be reviewing Justin Bieber's Christmas album, Under the Mistletoe. So, this album gets a lot of hate on websites such as RateYourMusic, which I guess makes sense. People love to hate Justin Bieber, and people love to hate Christmas music, so a Christmas album by Justin Bieber seems like a perfect target for hate. However, I've gone on record these past couple reviews as being a Justin Bieber apologist, and while this album isn't good enough for me to own on vinyl (trust me, we'll get to it), it's still better than most Christmas albums from modern pop artists. So, what did I find on Under the Mistletoe?
Well, let's start by talking about Justin Bieber's vocals. This is the first project Bieber did after he finally stopped sounding like a ten-year-old, and he honestly sounds pretty good for the most part. His deeper, more subtle vocals match the stripped-back acoustic instrumentation on most of these songs quite well.
A great example of this is the song All I Want Is You, the first song Justin released where he was able to sell being devastated. I've said before that young Justin sounded better the more desperate he got, but that was because he was good at sounding like a sad kid. Here, he sounds less like a kid who's upset that he didn't get what he wanted, and more like a deeply broken man who feels genuine regret that he'll be decorating his Christmas tree alone. For those of you who will be lonely this Christmas, throw this one on.
Another great example is Home This Christmas, which is a gorgeous acoustic ballad where Justin's girlfriend is worried that he won't make it home for Christmas because of a winter storm. It's another gloomier Christmas song, which is something I tend to enjoy.
That's not to say I only like the gloomy songs on this album, however. My favorite song on here would have to be either Santa Claus is Coming to Town or Silent Night. Silent Night is great because of the soft yet powerful instrumentation and Justin's beautiful singing. Seriously, anyone who says older Justin Bieber has no personality needs to get over themselves.
As for Santa Claus is Coming to Town, this song sounds like a soul song from the 1960s or 1970s. It has this bright, catchy brass section and an amazing groove. Every time I hear this song, I want to get up and dance. It was also featured in the movie Arthur Christmas, which is an incredibly underrated movie, by the way.
Going back to the acoustic ballads, I'm also a big fan of Only Thing I Ever Get for Christmas. Sure, it's a bit oversold without the swell to back it up, but the instrumentation is beautiful and I like the sentiment behind it.
Then there's Mistletoe, the big hit from the album. This song is a bit more energetic than the other acoustic songs on the album, and it's actually quite cute. However, I can't help but feel like Justin wishes he could be somewhere other than under the mistletoe considering he keeps bringing up all the other things he could be doing. Still a cute song.
If I were to criticize one thing about some of the acoustic songs on this album, it would be the use of snap beats combined with acoustic guitars. This is something I complain about a lot when it comes to modern country, and while this isn't a country album, the problem is no less prevalent. It nearly ruined the songs Fa La La and The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) for me, and it probably would've if the rest of the instrumentation wasn't so beautiful.
Another major criticism I have of this album is that it has what people in the writing world call "sagging middle syndrome." This is a term generally applied to books that have strong beginnings and ends but boring or weak middles. On this album, the first five songs range from decent to great, as do the last three songs, but the three songs between them aren't nearly as good.
Let's start with Christmas Eve, a song that sounds like it's trying to be a smooth R&B Christmas jam (I can't believe I just typed that sentence). It would probably be terrible if it wasn't so forgettable. Then there's All I Want for Christmas is You, which sounds exactly like the original, right down to Mariah Carey actually being featured on it. I thought they taught you in Cover Making 101 that you're supposed to put your own unique spin on the song you're covering? Even the godawful Little Drummer Boy cover got that one right.
Speaking of that godawful cover, that's the last song I'm talking about in this review. In his cover of Little Drummer Boy, Justin sings the chorus normally before filling the verses with terrible rapping both from him and from guest artist Busta Rhymes (Wow, and I thought "Smooth R&B Christmas jam" was the weirdest sentence I would type in this review). Not only does it not fit, but Justin's flow is awful. Seriously, how does his rapping here sound worse than his rapping on Eenie Meenie?
As for a score, I give this album 71%. It's a good enough Christmas album with some blemishes. If you like Justin Bieber and don't hate Christmas music, check this out. If not, maybe wait for some of my later Justin Bieber reviews and then check this out once you've checked out those projects. Who knows? You might enjoy it.
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