now i wouldn't say this manga is a masterpiece; i believe it has its slower-paced moments that could put people off from reading it (and just moments in general lol). but when it hits, it *really* hits. what i will say is that this series definitely left its mark on me. it leaves you with a deep pit in your stomach and a few existential thoughts. it gets you thinking, and i love it for that. admittedly, i didn't get it at first. but a few hours after reading it, the delayed sadness finally caught up to me. and i've truly grown to appreciate this manga since. i also love it for its colorful, flawed cast of characters. none of these people are good people, and all of them harbor some sort of deep-rooted issue. inio asano wonderfully writes not just characters, but humans. punpun is a story about many things, but ultimately, i think one of them is about how idealism can ruin a person. maaaybe? i dunno. there's just SO much to this manga to unpack, that you'd have to read it more than once. i really love it man.

RAHHH I LOVE LIBRARY OF RUINA SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! if this game (and the other ones in project moon's little universe) didn't have mechanics that can get overwhelming and confusing for first-time players, you'd see me call this the perfect game and recommend this to everyone i know!! that vertical difficulty spike people love to joke about while talking about *this* game in particular is NOT a joke but that's, like, all that's holding it back from being the perfect game to bug literally everyone i know with to play. EVEN THEN, once you get the hang of it, it's hard not to get sucked into hours of gameplay. this is my first time with a deckbuilding game, actually, and there's a certain point where it frees up more options for you to mess around with things. i personally reaaally love getting to strategize and play around with different builds!!! will admit that i sometimes looked to my friend for advice - and honestly, that's fine! having to consult a guide to deal with certain fights doesn't take away from the game's overall enjoyment. sure, having to put up with ruina's difficulty sounds intimidating, but i still feel VERY rewarded whenever i finish one of the tougher fights (and i guess the game in general hehe). it's genuinely worth it!! .. and if i'm being honest, sometimes being stuck in a fight for a while is fun just for the sole reason of getting to hear the music in this game for a little longer. aside from the already amazing 3-part battle track that's unique to each of the 10 floors you can play (that's crazy enough in itself), there's also the REALLY beautiful, original songs by mili (japanese indie music group, most notable for songs like world.execute(me); among other things). and my god, once you start hearing cassie wei's voice in the fight, you just KNOW the fight is about to get really serious. words can't give this specific part of this game justice. mili's songs always come at such emotional high points in the ruina's story, and they help create this really memorable and impactful experience in your playthrough. or at least, that's how i felt!!! library of ruina's music direction is absolutely amazing and very unique in the sense that it just makes you feel some intense stuff. it'd be a shame not to give it the flowers it deserves!!! oh man. speaking of its story, all of this rambling isn't even touching that part yet!!! i'm not sure if i want to go into too much detail with this one out of fear of the very, very, very slim chance that i might spoil the people who may be interested in checking this game out (please do). i'll try my best not to spoil. but even if you haven't played project moon's previous game and ruina's prequel, lobotomy corporation, it's still easy to pick up what's going on in this direct sequel to it. i think the game does a fine job with recapping everything you might've missed from it - so it's fine if you don't play lobcorp, though i'd give it a chance to see 1) the pretty cool Creatures, and 2) to see the character arcs of the librarians you get to meet in ruina. again, it's not exactly required material. you get recaps and anyone can follow along ruina's story pretty fine, which can BASICALLY be summed up into: a tragic library director's determined pursuit for the perfect book in a hopeless city, whatever the cost may be. all this is played out from the other protagonist's point of view, a beautifully and equally unfortunate tragedy of a man, who has lost everything and is a good epitome how the aforementioned city can genuinely fuck someone up. words can't begin to describe how much i adore these two protagonists, really. the way these two are written... how their drive, goals, and hurt (alongside with the way they DEAL with all that hurt they never asked for) were explored in such a fantastic way that makes you really feel for them. no spoilers, of course!!! but the different moments where either of the two protagonists have to confront the pain and grief they've been bottling up inside are some really high points in the game. i'm genuinely such a big fan of roland and angela, especially with how these two protags just happen to really play off of each other really well. i'm attached and i really connect with these two characters a lot - and i know most (if not all) of the other fans of this game share the same opinion. it's not hard to fall in love with the way these two were handled!!! perhaps the same can be said for the rest of ruina's cast of characters: they're all enjoyable in their own right, and personally i think they feel very human at times with how much the city's hardships really reflect on them. there's definitely a lot i haven't mentioned, i'm sure. probably some stuff i forgot because of how much is packed into this game - which is a good thing by the way!! i finished this game weeks ago after probably 5 months of playing, and i STILL catch myself wanting more from the experience. and that's saying a lot about how much i adore library of ruina and everything about it. if you're patient enough and maybe want to deal with a nice challenge, please please PLEASE give ruina a chance. to me, this game is a unique and unforgettable experience.

i guess it's on me that i started this anime with very high expectations, expecting to be blown away at the first episode. or that there's this steady buildup to something grand at the end of it. even if i really wanted to, i personally don't see why anyone puts lain on such a high pedestal. i guess it's safe to say that its VERY abstract, artsy style just isn't for me! lain feels like it drags on at times, and it's very easy to get lost or confused. maybe even overwhelmed with how much stuff it throws at you - about aliens and reality and god. perhaps in my frustration while being bored out my mind in the middle of watching it, i almost called this anime "pretentious". but then i felt mean! i definitely don't want to discredit the messages and themes going on here, but at the same time.. what IS going on, you know..? maybe the point of the series and its existentialist themes is to encourage this sort of philosophical thinking. maybe its very abstract vagueness is for us to judge what IS real and what ISN'T real in the show ourselves. maybe that way, the plot becomes more of an afterthought, and its essence mostly draws from the impact it leaves the viewer with. like.. uh. exactly like how abstract art tends to be, i guess! whether i like how it's executed is a whole other thing. on the other hand! animation is lovely, duvet by boa is amazing. i actually am a fan of how lain ended, despite leaving me confused and with a lot of questions. at the end of the day, it just isn't my style. BUT i respect it and can see myself coming back to this to give it another chance! i'd really like to understand the hype at some point! these are my thoughts on first viewing, though.