i guess it's on me that i started this anime with very high expectations, expecting to be blown away at the first episode. or that there's this steady buildup to something grand at the end of it. even if i really wanted to, i personally don't see why anyone puts lain on such a high pedestal. i guess it's safe to say that its VERY abstract, artsy style just isn't for me! lain feels like it drags on at times, and it's very easy to get lost or confused. maybe even overwhelmed with how much stuff it throws at you - about aliens and reality and god. perhaps in my frustration while being bored out my mind in the middle of watching it, i almost called this anime "pretentious". but then i felt mean! i definitely don't want to discredit the messages and themes going on here, but at the same time.. what IS going on, you know..? maybe the point of the series and its existentialist themes is to encourage this sort of philosophical thinking. maybe its very abstract vagueness is for us to judge what IS real and what ISN'T real in the show ourselves. maybe that way, the plot becomes more of an afterthought, and its essence mostly draws from the impact it leaves the viewer with. like.. uh. exactly like how abstract art tends to be, i guess! whether i like how it's executed is a whole other thing. on the other hand! animation is lovely, duvet by boa is amazing. i actually am a fan of how lain ended, despite leaving me confused and with a lot of questions. at the end of the day, it just isn't my style. BUT i respect it and can see myself coming back to this to give it another chance! i'd really like to understand the hype at some point! these are my thoughts on first viewing, though.