None of this works at all. It obviously isn't professionally done. None of the beats match the acapellas put over them at all.

Most soundtracks are a mixed bag and this one is no different. A number of the hip hop songs are quite generic. The R&B songs have a higher success rate but there are only a few of them. Best Tracks: No Way In, No Way Out, Devil's Pie, Grand Finale, What About 1 Lady - No Way In, No Way Out 86/100 R. Kelly written and produced. It's an odd way to begin the album with an unknown R&B singer but the song actually does the job. It has that classic R. Kelly build up/progression and a positive message. 2 D'Angelo - Devil's Pie 85 DJ Premier produced that is the best part of this. I just read that Canibus turned down this beat. Unpopular opinion: I've never loved D'Angelo's choppy way of singing on this one. It's still an excellent track though. 3 DMX, Method Man, Nas & Ja Rule– Grand Finale 94 A great song. A simple yet killer beat by Irv Gotti and Lil' Rob sampling 'Prelude' by N.W.A. DMX aces the hook and then you have amazing rappers to complete the win. 4 Jerome - Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer 80 A cover of Stevie Wonder's classic from Jerome, who was a kid signed to Bad Boy. He does a great job with it and sounds a lot older than he was. 5 Sparkle - What About 84 Another winner from R. Kelly. The music and singing are so damn chill. 6 Hot Totti - Two Sides 57 A decent gangsta chick song about her being a 'ride or die'. 7 Mya Featuring Raekwon & Noreaga - Movin' Out 54 An okay pop rap tune. 8 DMX, Sean Paul & Mr. Vegas - Top Shotter 50 A fusion of reggae and hip hop but the former is the more predominant sound. 9 Ja Rule - Story to Tell 60 Not bad. The beat is quite generic. There are thousands of similar sounding instrumentations from the late '90s. 10 Jay-Z Featuring Beanie Sigel & Memphis Bleek - Crew Love 68 Kind of like the last song but there is a bit more life in the production. Enjoyable verses, particularly from Beanie. It's says "Jay-Z Featuring" but he is just on the hook here. 11 Noreaga Featuring Maze - Sometimes 54 I'm not a big Nore fan. His voice and rapping are average. The beat isn't bad though, but at the same time, I don't think it changes up at all for 5 minutes. Not even for the hook. 12 Drag-On - We All Can Get It On 34 Drag-On is okay, but this one feels lifeless and is more evidence to back up my long-held belief that Swizz Beatz is the luckiest rap producer of all time. He has one good beat in every ten attempts. 13 Gang Starr - Militia Remix 66 This one has two of my favourite rappers, WC and Rakim, as features, but it's a very standard DJ Premier beat and there isn't much creativity to the song as a whole. 14 Wu Tang Clan Feat. RZA, Ghostface Killer & ODB - Windpipe 52 I've never liked ODB's mentally ill style and this would be better without his screaming. It sounds so low quality as well... 15 Sauce Money Featuring Jay-Z - Pre-Game 64 Decent bangin track. 16 Made Men Featuring The Lox - Tommy's Theme 70 The way Jadakiss and Styles exchange bars in the first verse is engaging. 17 Half-A-Mil - Some Niggaz 51 Like 'Sometimes', it just doesn't do enough musically. 18 Bravehearts - I Wanna Live 40 A weak beat by the Trackmasters. Nas singing on the hook. This is like a bad song from Nastradamus. Nas' proteges, Bravehearts, weren't a chance to ever blow up with some of the production they were given.

Sketches: Above the Grate - Begins and ends the movie with a guy blowing air up a grate trying to look up Lindsay Lohan's (Marilyn Monroe lookalike) skirt. Pretty pointless 0.5/5 Flirty Harry - Gay puns over and over. Some laughs. Adrien Brody does a good impersonation. 2.5/5 Blackass - Jackass spoof. I enjoyed some of these. "I think something going on here." 3/5 The Amazing Racist - Some of these sketches are too long. Some laughs though, albeit nothing original. 2/5 The Porno Review - Terrible. 1/5 Psychology World - Bad. 1/5

I was excited and intrigued by the opening. However, my first issue is the parenting. Firstly, regarding the eating that turns Chihiro's parents into pigs. Why is she the only one who shows any sense and righteousness? I understand the rest of the film isn't based on reality, but that detail bothers me as it's completely farfetched. Also, telling your child to wait in the car in the woods while you go God knows where...Not exactly parenting of the year material, is it? There are also one or two coincidences that move the story along that come out of nowhere. It also moves from craziness and spirits vomiting all over the place into a sappy love story for the ending too unsubtly for my liking. I watched the English dubbed version, with subtitles of the Japanese as well, and there wasn't that much difference to think that it would change someone's critique of the film. I don't think they are that different like some reviewers claim. That ridiculous annoying shit anime likes to include like all the yelling annoys the shit out of me that happens a couple of times in this. It has its charm. The animation is great, certain parts of the story are interesting and creative, but all in all I didn't feel the plot enough at all. 2.5-3

The long conversations, which is all this movie is, maintained my attention. However, it's far from perfect. Celine, the female partner of Jesse, seems like a terrible person to live with. She blows every second sentence of Jesse's out of proportion, making some of the movie feel like I was watching family members argue. She also makes conversation after conversation dirty, by mentioning something about sex like a horny teen. Too much of the film is also the parents, particularly Celine, whinging about parenthood. I know being a parent is not an easy task, but damn, making children isn't involuntary. Stop complaining! As mentioned it's attention grabbing which earns it its good rating, and it has made me interested in its predecessors, but worthy of undeniable universal acclaim? Not sure... 3.5-3 out of 5.